Couples Therapy in Calgary

Couples Counselling in Calgary

At Dookies’ Psychological Services, we understand that relationships are complex and require dedicated attention to thrive. We are dedicated to providing evidence-based approaches to working with couples and addressing the diverse challenges they may face. From communication issues to managing conflicts, navigating financial stress, and addressing intimacy concerns, our therapists are here to support you and your partner every step of the way.

Evidence-Based Approaches to Couples Therapy

Our therapists utilize evidence-based approaches to ensure effective outcomes for couples. By integrating research-backed techniques and interventions into our therapy sessions, we help couples build stronger, healthier relationships. Here are some evidence-based approaches we offer:

Gottman Couples Therapy: Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach focuses on enhancing friendship, managing conflict, and supporting each other’s aspirations. Based on over 40 years of research, Gottman Couples Therapy utilizes structured interventions to improve communication and strengthen emotional bonds.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT): EFT helps couples identify and understand their emotional patterns and attachment needs. By promoting emotional awareness and responsiveness, EFT helps couples create secure and lasting bonds.

Interpersonal Neurobiology for Couples: This approach explores the intersection of neuroscience and relationships. By understanding how brain function influences interpersonal dynamics, couples can develop greater empathy, communication skills, and emotional regulation.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Couples: CBT helps couples identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to relationship distress. By fostering more adaptive ways of thinking and behaving, CBT can improve communication and problem-solving skills.

Common Challenges Addressed in Couples Therapy

Our therapists are experienced in addressing a wide range of challenges that couples may encounter, including:

  • Communication issues
  • Conflict management
  • Financial stress and money management
  • Intimacy concerns
  • Infidelity and trust issues
  • Parenting conflicts
  • Blended family dynamics
  • Cultural differences
  • Life transitions and adjustments

Why Choose Us

  • Experienced and compassionate therapists specializing in couple’s therapy
  • Evidence-based approaches tailored to each couple’s unique needs
  • Focus on building stronger communication, trust, and emotional bonds
  • Non-judgmental and supportive environment for exploring sensitive issues
  • Commitment to helping couples achieve lasting and meaningful change

Start Your Journey Toward a Stronger Relationship

Take the first step toward a healthier, happier relationship by scheduling a couple’s therapy session with us. Whether you’re facing communication challenges, navigating conflicts, or dealing with other relationship issues, our team is here to help. Contact us today to begin your journey towards a stronger, more fulfilling partnership.

Contact us today: Phone: 403-604-9010, Email: info@dookies.ca

Invest in your relationship and discover the transformative power of couples therapy with Dookies’ Psychological Services. We look forward to supporting you and your partner on your journey to greater connection and intimacy.

Reasons for Couples Therapy

Communication Issues

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Managing Communication Challenges in Couples Relationships

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. When communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and feelings of disconnection between partners. However, with the right strategies and tools, couples can overcome communication challenges and strengthen their bond. In this guide, we’ll explore effective ways to manage communication difficulties in couples relationships.

1. Practice Active Listening

One of the most important aspects of effective communication is active listening. This involves giving your partner your full attention, making eye contact, and truly listening to what they’re saying without interrupting or formulating your response in your mind. Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding and validate your partner’s feelings.

2. Use “I” Statements

When expressing your thoughts and feelings to your partner, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel unheard when I’m speaking.” This shifts the focus from blame to expressing your own experience, which can help prevent defensiveness and promote empathy.

3. Be Mindful of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice play a significant role in communication. Pay attention to your partner’s nonverbal cues and be mindful of your own. Avoid crossing your arms, rolling your eyes, or using a harsh tone, as these behaviors can signal defensiveness or hostility.

4. Practice Empathy and Validation

Empathy involves understanding and sharing your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. Validate your partner’s emotions by acknowledging their feelings and expressing empathy. For example, you might say, “I can see why you’re feeling frustrated,” or “It makes sense that you would feel that way.”

5. Schedule Regular Check-Ins

Set aside dedicated time to check in with each other regularly and discuss any issues or concerns that have arisen. This could be a weekly or monthly meeting where you both have the opportunity to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a safe and supportive environment.

6. Seek Couples Therapy

If communication challenges persist despite your best efforts, consider seeking couples therapy. A qualified therapist can help you and your partner identify underlying issues, improve communication skills, and develop strategies for resolving conflicts constructively. Therapy provides a neutral space where both partners can express themselves openly and work together towards a stronger relationship.

Conclusion

Effective communication is essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By practicing active listening, using “I” statements, being mindful of nonverbal cues, practicing empathy and validation, scheduling regular check-ins, and seeking couples therapy when needed, couples can overcome communication challenges and build a stronger, more resilient bond. Remember that communication is a skill that can be learned and improved over time with patience, practice, and dedication to your relationship.

Sexual Therapy

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Navigating Sex Therapy in Couples Relationships

Sexual intimacy is a fundamental aspect of many romantic relationships, yet it’s also an area that can be fraught with challenges and complexities. Whether couples are struggling with mismatched libidos, communication barriers, sexual dysfunction, or other issues, sex therapy can provide a supportive and effective avenue for addressing these concerns. In this guide, we’ll explore how couples can navigate sex therapy to improve their sexual connection and overall relationship satisfaction.

1. Recognize the Importance of Sexual Health

Sexual health encompasses not just physical well-being but also emotional and relational aspects of sexuality. It’s essential for couples to recognize that addressing sexual concerns is a vital part of maintaining a healthy relationship and overall well-being.

2. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Effective communication is key to addressing sexual issues within a relationship. Couples should feel comfortable discussing their desires, concerns, and boundaries with each other in a non-judgmental and supportive environment. This can help create a sense of intimacy and understanding between partners.

3. Identify Specific Concerns

Before beginning sex therapy, couples should take the time to identify specific sexual concerns or challenges they’re facing. This might include issues such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, pain during sex, or difficulty achieving orgasm. Being clear about the specific issues can help the therapist tailor treatment to address each couple’s unique needs.

4. Understand the Role of the Therapist

A sex therapist is trained to help couples explore and address sexual concerns in a safe and supportive environment. They may use a variety of techniques and interventions to help couples improve communication, increase sexual satisfaction, and overcome obstacles to intimacy. It’s essential for couples to approach sex therapy with an open mind and a willingness to actively participate in the process.

5. Explore Individual and Couples Dynamics

Sex therapy often involves exploring both individual and couples dynamics that may be contributing to sexual issues. This might include examining past experiences, cultural influences, relationship dynamics, and personal beliefs about sex and intimacy. By understanding these factors, couples can work together to identify and address underlying issues.

6. Practice Techniques and Strategies

Sex therapy may involve practicing techniques and strategies to improve sexual communication, enhance pleasure, and address specific concerns. This might include sensate focus exercises, communication exercises, mindfulness techniques, and behavioral interventions. Couples should be open to trying new approaches and techniques to see what works best for them.

7. Commit to the Process

Improving sexual intimacy takes time, patience, and commitment from both partners. Couples should be prepared to engage in therapy consistently and actively participate in homework assignments or exercises recommended by the therapist. Over time, with dedication and effort, couples can experience significant improvements in their sexual connection and overall relationship satisfaction.

Conclusion

Sex therapy can be a valuable resource for couples looking to address sexual concerns and improve their overall relationship satisfaction. By recognizing the importance of sexual health, communicating openly and honestly, identifying specific concerns, understanding the role of the therapist, exploring individual and couples dynamics, practicing techniques and strategies, and committing to the process, couples can navigate sex therapy effectively and strengthen their sexual connection and intimacy.

Partner Infidelity

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Dealing with Infidelity in Couples Relationships

Infidelity can deeply shake the foundation of a relationship, leading to feelings of betrayal, hurt, and mistrust. However, with time, effort, and a willingness to work through the pain together, couples can heal and rebuild their relationship. In this guide, we’ll explore steps to effectively deal with infidelity in couples relationships.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

The discovery of infidelity often triggers a range of intense emotions, including shock, anger, sadness, and disbelief. It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment or suppression. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of trust and the betrayal of your expectations.

2. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Communication is crucial when navigating infidelity in a relationship. Both partners should be willing to engage in open, honest conversations about what happened, how it made them feel, and what they need moving forward. Avoiding difficult conversations or sweeping feelings under the rug will only prolong the healing process.

3. Seek Support

Infidelity can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer support, guidance, and a listening ear. Support groups for individuals dealing with infidelity can also provide valuable insight and solidarity.

4. Set Boundaries

During the healing process, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to protect both partners’ emotional well-being. This may include temporarily separating, limiting contact with the third party involved, or setting guidelines for communication and transparency within the relationship.

5. Take Time to Heal

Healing from infidelity is a gradual process that takes time and patience. Give yourself and your partner the space and grace to heal at your own pace. Be gentle with yourselves and prioritize self-care activities that promote emotional and mental well-being.

6. Rebuild Trust

Rebuilding trust is a cornerstone of repairing a relationship after infidelity. This process involves consistent honesty, transparency, and reliability from both partners. Trust must be earned through actions, not just words, over time.

7. Consider Couples Therapy

Couples therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for addressing the underlying issues that contributed to infidelity, improving communication skills, and rebuilding intimacy. A skilled therapist can help couples navigate the complex emotions and challenges associated with infidelity and work towards a healthier, more resilient relationship.

Conclusion

Infidelity is undoubtedly one of the most challenging obstacles a couple can face, but it’s not necessarily the end of the road. With commitment, compassion, and a willingness to do the hard work, couples can emerge stronger and more connected on the other side. By allowing themselves to feel, communicating openly, seeking support, setting boundaries, taking time to heal, rebuilding trust, and considering couples therapy, couples can navigate the healing journey together and create a more fulfilling relationship.

Managing Money as a couple

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Navigating Finances Together: Managing Money as a Couple

Managing money as a couple can be a source of tension and stress, but with open communication, shared goals, and mutual respect, couples can create a financial plan that strengthens their relationship and secures their future. In this guide, we’ll explore strategies for effectively managing money as a couple.

1. Start with Open Communication

The foundation of successful financial management as a couple is open and honest communication. Sit down together and discuss your individual attitudes towards money, your financial goals, and any concerns or challenges you may have. Be transparent about your income, expenses, debts, and financial priorities.

2. Set Shared Goals

Identify shared financial goals that align with your values and aspirations as a couple. Whether it’s buying a home, saving for retirement, paying off debt, or starting a family, having common objectives can help you stay focused and motivated. Break down your goals into short-term and long-term objectives and create a plan to achieve them together.

3. Create a Budget Together

Developing a budget is essential for managing money effectively as a couple. Work together to create a budget that outlines your income, expenses, and savings goals. Be realistic about your spending habits and prioritize your expenses based on your shared goals and values. Review your budget regularly and make adjustments as needed.

4. Designate Responsibilities

Divide financial responsibilities between partners based on your strengths and preferences. This may include paying bills, managing investments, tracking expenses, or communicating with financial institutions. Establish clear roles and responsibilities to ensure accountability and avoid misunderstandings.

5. Practice Financial Transparency

Maintain transparency with each other regarding your financial activities. Share access to bank accounts, credit cards, and other financial accounts, and regularly review your financial statements together. Discuss any significant purchases or financial decisions before making them and keep each other informed about changes in your financial situation.

6. Set Aside “Me” and “Us” Money

Consider setting aside separate accounts for personal spending (“me” money) in addition to your joint accounts for shared expenses (“us” money). This allows each partner to maintain a degree of financial autonomy while still contributing to shared goals and responsibilities. Agree on guidelines for how “me” money can be spent to avoid conflicts.

7. Address Differences Constructively

It’s normal for couples to have different approaches to money management. Instead of viewing these differences as obstacles, see them as opportunities for growth and compromise. Find common ground and work together to find solutions that accommodate both partners’ needs and preferences.

8. Seek Professional Advice When Needed

If you’re struggling to manage your finances as a couple or facing complex financial challenges, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice. A financial advisor or counselor can provide guidance, expertise, and objective insights to help you make informed decisions and achieve your financial goals.

Conclusion

Managing money as a couple requires communication, collaboration, and compromise. By starting with open communication, setting shared goals, creating a budget together, designating responsibilities, practicing financial transparency, setting aside “me” and “us” money, addressing differences constructively, and seeking professional advice when needed, couples can navigate their finances effectively and build a secure and prosperous future together. With patience, teamwork, and a shared commitment to financial well-being, couples can overcome challenges and achieve their financial goals together.

Premarital Counseling

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Preparing for a Lifetime Together: Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling offers couples the opportunity to lay a strong foundation for their future together by addressing potential challenges, building communication skills, and strengthening their bond. In this guide, we’ll explore the benefits of premarital counseling and how couples can make the most of this valuable opportunity.

1. Addressing Potential Challenges

Premarital counseling provides couples with a safe and supportive environment to discuss important topics that may impact their relationship in the future. These topics may include finances, family dynamics, career goals, children, religion, and more. By addressing potential challenges early on, couples can better understand each other’s perspectives and develop strategies for navigating difficult conversations.

2. Building Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential for a healthy and successful relationship. Premarital counseling helps couples learn how to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully with each other. Through guided discussions and exercises, couples can practice active listening, expressing their needs and desires, and resolving conflicts constructively.

3. Strengthening Relationship Skills

Premarital counseling also focuses on building essential relationship skills such as problem-solving, decision-making, and compromise. Couples learn how to work together as a team, support each other’s goals and aspirations, and navigate the ups and downs of life as a partnership.

4. Exploring Shared Values and Goals

During premarital counseling, couples have the opportunity to explore their shared values, beliefs, and goals for the future. By aligning their expectations and aspirations, couples can create a strong sense of unity and purpose in their relationship.

5. Managing Expectations

Premarital counseling helps couples manage their expectations for marriage and address any unrealistic beliefs or assumptions they may have. By discussing topics such as roles and responsibilities, intimacy, and personal boundaries, couples can ensure they have a clear understanding of what to expect from each other and the relationship.

6. Addressing Past Experiences

Premarital counseling provides couples with a space to discuss any past experiences or baggage that may impact their relationship. Whether it’s unresolved conflicts from previous relationships, family issues, or personal insecurities, addressing these concerns early on can prevent them from causing problems later in the relationship.

7. Strengthening Commitment

Participating in premarital counseling demonstrates a commitment to the relationship and a willingness to invest in its long-term success. By actively engaging in the counseling process, couples reaffirm their dedication to each other and their shared future.

Conclusion

Premarital counseling offers couples the opportunity to build a strong foundation for their future together by addressing potential challenges, building communication skills, and strengthening their bond. By actively participating in premarital counseling, couples can enhance their relationship satisfaction, reduce the risk of future conflicts, and increase their chances of a happy and fulfilling marriage. Whether you’re engaged or considering marriage in the future, premarital counseling can provide valuable insights and support as you embark on this exciting journey together.

Trust Problems

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Rebuilding Trust in Your Marital Relationship

Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy and fulfilling marriage. When trust is broken, whether through infidelity, betrayal, or other breaches of confidence, rebuilding it can be a challenging and complex process. However, with commitment, communication, and effort from both partners, trust can be restored, and the relationship can emerge stronger than before. In this guide, we’ll explore steps to effectively rebuild trust in your marital relationship.

1. Acknowledge the Hurt

The first step in rebuilding trust is acknowledging the pain and hurt caused by the breach of trust. Both partners need to express their emotions openly and honestly, without judgment or defensiveness. It’s essential to create a safe space where feelings can be shared and validated.

2. Take Responsibility

The partner who breached trust must take responsibility for their actions and the consequences they’ve caused. This includes apologizing sincerely, expressing remorse, and committing to making amends. Taking ownership of their behavior is a crucial step in rebuilding trust and restoring the injured partner’s sense of security.

3. Practice Transparency

Transparency is essential in rebuilding trust. Both partners should be open and honest with each other about their thoughts, feelings, and actions. This may involve sharing passwords, being accessible and available, and answering questions truthfully. Consistent transparency helps demonstrate commitment to rebuilding trust and fostering open communication.

4. Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries can help rebuild trust and prevent future breaches. Both partners should agree on boundaries that promote mutual respect, honesty, and integrity. These boundaries may include guidelines for communication, social interactions, and personal space. Respecting each other’s boundaries is essential for rebuilding trust and maintaining a healthy relationship.

5. Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort from both partners. It involves letting go of resentment and bitterness and choosing to move forward with compassion and understanding. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the behavior that caused the hurt but rather releasing the emotional burden and reclaiming your power.

6. Rebuild Emotional Connection

Rebuilding trust often requires rebuilding emotional connection and intimacy in the relationship. Both partners should prioritize spending quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations, and expressing affection and appreciation for each other. Building a strong emotional bond lays the foundation for trust to thrive.

7. Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, rebuilding trust may require the guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor. A trained professional can provide couples with the tools, strategies, and support they need to navigate the challenges of rebuilding trust effectively. Therapy offers a safe and confidential space where couples can explore their feelings, address underlying issues, and work towards healing and reconciliation.

Conclusion

Rebuilding trust in a marital relationship is a journey that requires patience, commitment, and vulnerability from both partners. By acknowledging the hurt, taking responsibility, practicing transparency, setting boundaries, practicing forgiveness, rebuilding emotional connection, and seeking professional help when needed, couples can successfully rebuild trust and create a stronger, more resilient relationship. With dedication and effort, trust can be restored, and the relationship can emerge from the experience even stronger than before.

About Couples Therapy

Couples therapy, also known as marriage counseling or couples counseling, is a form of psychotherapy that aims to help couples improve their relationship, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their bond. It provides a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their feelings, communicate more effectively, and work through challenges together. Here’s an overview of what couples therapy entails:

1. Goals of Couples Therapy:

  • Improve Communication: Couples therapy helps partners communicate more openly and effectively, fostering understanding and empathy.
  • Resolve Conflicts: It provides tools and strategies for resolving conflicts constructively, reducing tension and resentment within the relationship.
  • Strengthen Connection: Couples therapy aims to rebuild emotional intimacy and strengthen the bond between partners, fostering a deeper connection.
  • Address Specific Issues: Whether it’s infidelity, financial stress, parenting conflicts, or sexual issues, couples therapy provides a space to address specific concerns within the relationship.

2. Techniques Used in Couples Therapy:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Focuses on identifying and changing negative patterns of interaction, promoting emotional bonding and security.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps couples identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviors, promoting healthier communication and problem-solving.
  • Gottman Method: Based on research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach focuses on building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning within the relationship.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Emphasizes understanding and empathizing with your partner’s perspective, fostering deeper connection and healing past wounds.

3. What to Expect in Couples Therapy Sessions:

  • Assessment: The therapist will conduct an initial assessment to understand the couple’s concerns, goals, and dynamics within the relationship.
  • Goal Setting: Together with the therapist, couples will set specific goals for therapy and outline a plan for achieving them.
  • Communication Exercises: Couples will engage in structured exercises to improve communication skills, such as active listening and expressing needs and feelings.
  • Conflict Resolution: The therapist will facilitate discussions to help couples address conflicts constructively and find mutually acceptable solutions.
  • Homework Assignments: Couples may be given assignments to practice outside of therapy sessions, reinforcing skills learned during therapy.

4. Benefits of Couples Therapy:

  • Improved Communication: Couples learn how to express their needs and feelings more effectively, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
  • Stronger Connection: Therapy helps partners reconnect emotionally and rebuild trust, fostering a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.
  • Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Couples gain tools and strategies for resolving conflicts and navigating challenges together, promoting greater resilience and adaptability.

5. When to Seek Couples Therapy:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Frequent conflicts or arguments
  • Loss of intimacy or emotional connection
  • Infidelity or trust issues
  • Life transitions such as marriage, parenthood, or relocation

Overall, couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their relationship, overcome challenges, and build a happier and more fulfilling life together. By investing in their relationship and working together with a skilled therapist, couples can create a stronger foundation for a lasting and loving partnership.